Oh, what the hell – let’s discuss my love life.

Just over a year ago, there was a major change in the Ugg-Duck.  And in my life.  And consequently, the entire tone of the blog shifted.  The voice stayed the same, but references to “we” became “me”, and I decided to continue on my DIY journey as a party of one. I added sweet (and completely batshit crazy) Charlie Bug to the mix, and added an additional time complication commitment by going back to school for my MBA.

I’ve gotten busier, learned to manage my time differently, adjusted my budget, and changed so very many aspects of what I’ve been working on in the last year that it’s nearly impossible to re-imagine how different things were a year (or more) ago.  A year seems like such a short time – and yet it also feels much, much longer.  And I haven’t really had time (or chosen to have the time) to reflect on all of it until now.

When I went to the Haven blog conference, I realized I’d been putting my life on the internet day after day and yet still hadn’t felt like I was really connecting with others the way some of the more successful bloggers seemed to be.  And it didn’t take long to realize why:  I share plenty about my personality (I think my writing style does a little of that for me), plenty about Charlie, and especially about my home.  But my personal life?  My love life?  I’ve only really mentioned how I don’t have time for it because of all of the other things.

When I wrote up the post yesterday about reusing an old t-shirt that is obviously not my own, I had a difficult time with it.  Mentioning my ex seemed weird.  Not because there are any painful memories associated with our breakup (quite the opposite, actually), but because I felt like I was doing something unusual.  By omitting my ex from most of my posts since he moved out, I felt like I’d made it the elephant in the room when I finally did.  What the heck was I so shy about?  I still had a year and a half of posts where I mention Scott’s name in nearly every one of them, and then I simply stop a year ago, and I was feeling awkward (though awkwardness is kind of synonymous with me).  It is entirely possible that I’m imagining all of this, but as the writer trying to imagine what her readers are thinking (doesn’t every good writer try to do that?), I couldn’t help but think, this is what I’d be curious about.

Even when I began writing this post (with its many revisions, of course), I had to ask myself just what in the heck I’m really getting at.  I’ve already made an attempt to become more present on the blog with posts that aren’t DIY-related, such as the Dirty Girl Mud Run and my experience at Warrior Dash with my sister Emily.  But I had to sort of have an inner dialogue with myself:  I have an ex-boyfriend that I did DIY projects with and feel weird about ever mentioning that on the site now.

So, there it is, and there is where I start.  I’ve realized that I need to share more about myself as a whole (or at the very least, do it regularly enough that I don’t squirm at the idea of sharing it).  Even as nonexistent as my love life is (seriously, haven’t been on a date since Scott and I broke up, which is over a year ago), the truth is that the “single” part of being a DIYer is very much a part of my story.  It makes a huge difference in the projects I take on, the determination I have to do them, and the timeline that I work around.  It makes little sense to not acknowledge that when I’m in the middle of a project that is built around both the limitations and freedoms caused by DIYing as a single homeowner.

All of this isn’t to say that I’m suddenly going to go Carrie Bradshaw on you all.  There isn’t much to say other than I’m not currently dating (don’t take that as a sworn off context, I just haven’t had much of an opportunity to socialize with strangers and my life isn’t an Ashton Kutcher movie).  And the things I do around the house are often hilarious when you have to learn to do things without a second set of hands (or a second wallet).  I guess I just finally feel like showing you that I still have a life when I wash the paint out of my hair.  So, once again, I’m setting a goal for myself to show even more me on this blog than I have, and work on getting comfortable with it.  I even did my first video for the site, which I’ll share next week!  You might know how much of a milestone that is for me (public speaking – gulp!).  Here’s to working outside of my comfort zone, right?

Comments

  1. Anonymous says

    Love this post and glad that you will be showing your more personal side. Not to mention I can better keep up with you now that we live states away. :)

    xoxox,

    Lia

  2. says

    Thanks for this post – I know exactly what you mean!
    I too suddenly stopped mentioning “someone” in my posts ;)
    And it is quite different to DYI on you own (though I had to do that most of the time even when there was still an us) and most blogs I read are couples so it's nice to know you are doing it too!
    Greetings from Germany

  3. says

    Good for you! One thing I've learned in my creative nonfiction writing class is, you have to get real. You have to expose what feels awkward/scary/crazy to expose. It's those most vulnerable places where the reader is most likely to connect with your writing, and by extension, with you.

    Go for it, girl. You have so much to gain.

  4. says

    I find it very brave of you to share with a bunch of “strangers” things as personal as this and I commend you for stepping out of your comfort zone. You deserve a pat on the back!! Keep up the great posts!

  5. says

    Good for you! I have taken a step in this direction by revealing more about myself in my “About Me” page but it is scary to put your more vulnerable side on your blog! Best Wishes!!!

  6. says

    Proud of you! I know it isn't to just bear it all out there, but you're DOING it! That is what matters.! :)

  7. says

    As usual, you and I are about on the same DIY/life cycle! lol. I was just thinking I need to write a post about why it's hard to date as a DIY chick (namely the look of horror on a guy's face when they see the transformation between “clean and dressed up for a night out” and “sawdust covered gremlin”.)

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