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As you have seen time and time again on this blog, I sometimes need a little help and/or advice from Dad. From plumbing tips to fence post digging to putting up drywall in the garage (yes! We finally got the panel hung over the weekend! More on that to come in a future post), Dad has been my go-to guy for countless DIY conundrums.
So, in honor of Father’s Day, I thought it might be fun to do a little giveaway. After reading this post from Duluth Trading’s blog, I knew that they’d be the perfect partner to help show a little appreciation for all the things Dad does. Hell, there are a number of things from their site I wouldn’t mind scooping up for myself (but I won’t, because this is about the guy who not only puts aside his Sunday plans to get drywall dust in his eyes with me, but also brings along my favorite cookies “just because”).
And since this is my blog and I get to make the rules, I want to also use this giveaway to recognize the folks who aren’t necessarily “dads” in the traditional sense, but do a damn good job of filling that role. So if you want to recognize a stepdad, uncle, grandfather, or even a single mom who fills the role of “Dad” in your life, this giveaway is for them too! Entry is pretty straightforward – I’m not a fan of complicated giveaways, so it’s a one-entry-per-person type of thing. :)
Prize: $50 gift card at Duluth Trading Co.
Number of winners: 2
Contest ends: Friday, June 13th
How to enter: Use the Rafflecopter widget below (if you don’t see the widget, you will need to click over to read this post on my site directly. Usually clicking on the title of the post from any reader will take you there too).
For funsies: Leave a comment about the funniest thing your Dad ever said to you.
Obviously, the gift card won’t get into your physical hands by Father’s Day, but you can still give the good news that it’s on its way in your card. You did get him a card, right? Hehe. Good luck!
Duct tape fixes everything!!!!!!!!!!!! And it does!! Dad was right!
When I was about 11, Dad was having a really crabby night and in the middle of dinner, he snarled at me, “Cut it out!” I had no idea what he was talking about (chewing? spooning up my mac and cheese?) so I asked. He practically shouted, “STARING!!” It was so bizarre, that we’ve never let him live it down for 20 years. My sister and I try to outdo each other sounding like a crazy person when we shout “staring!” Dads can be so weird.
Well, it wasn’t to me but (I was about 7) somehow my parents & older brother ended up having this conversation at dinner, mind you, about yeast infections in your ear which just snowballed downhill from there.
Funny, if not funniest.
Marry the first time for money and the second time for love.
(Says the man who has been married to my mother for four decades)
I’m entering this for my hubby, who makes me laugh daily, so…the funniest thing he’s said to me lately is, “T-Rav won’t be back if Southern Charm does another season.” This is funny, A, because I really don’t like reality TV and he knows it, but I will watch it with him sometimes, and B, he’s genuinely worried about how ol’ T-Rav is doing now that the show is over. Now that I’m typing this out, it’s probably only funny to me…. :)
Well just this weekend I called my dad to ask if he had a stud finder I could borrow because mine has mysteriously vanished… he responds with ” Honey, I am really confused, you obviously didn’t lose yours.” Me: ” Dad, I can’t find it anywhere and I really need to make sure I hang this mirror into the studs” Dad:” Calm down honey, you called me so obviously you found a stud”
….. SERIOUSLY DAD! Next time I’m just going over unannounced and taking it from the garage!
Pretty much everything that he has ever said. My dad is a riot.
My stepdad has a fantastic sense of humor and says wickedly funny things all the time. But my favorite thing he says that makes me laugh is “Huss” (Horse with a Boston accent).
Leave me alone — I KNOW what I am doing! (Shortly followed by a disaster of unexplainable proportions. Hey, my dad tried, but a handyman he wasn’t : -)). Still miss him.
I was watching Say Yes to the Dress with my sisters and after seeing a bride’s father get chocked up at her wedding, I asked my dad if he was going to cry when my sisters and I got married. He just shrugged and said, “Depends who you’re marrying.” Nice one, Dad.
Dad memorized the words to that rap song called sugar(?) (sugar on my tongue tongue yippee yippee yum yum) And he would sing it/rap it in front of my friends and if you know that song, you know how utterly inappropriate it is. He’s always doing things to embarrass us.
Do you think I’m made of money?
Congrats! You’re one of the winners! Please see the email I sent you & let me know your info!
My Dad’s a pretty funny guy, so I’m pretty sure it’s impossible to figure out the funniest thing he’s ever said. There was a time when I was about 13 and having serious knee pain (I was an intense x-county runner), and, for whatever reason, one doctor was convinced that one leg was 1-2″ shorter than the other (spoiler: it wasn’t). To diffuse whatever the heck was going on, My Dad proceeded to call me Eileen for the next few weeks. I still laugh when I think about it. Also, he loves to sing the Green Acres theme sound at the top of his lungs while driving.
My Dad likes to joke around about telling his girlfriends to put their clothes back on when he’s on the phone with me. They’re typically out at a restaurant or something but he likes to try to embarrass them. I’ve heard it a million times but he still thinks it’s hysterical.
dad looked at my mom one day (she had just gotten her hair cut) and asked “did you do something to your hair or did you just sleep on it funny?” (he’s still in trouble with mom but the rest of us howl with laughter thinking about it!)
When I joined the Army, he said, “Well, just keep your nose clean.”
My dad moved up to Washington from CA a year and a half ago and my brother joined him about 6 months ago (I miss them!). A couple months ago my dad was all excited telling us about the riding lawn mower he was going to get for their large grassy property (we are desert natives, so having grass is a big deal, you see..). Then a couple days later my brother sent me a video of my dad off in the distance, just slowly tooling around, mowing the lawn in the dark. It was made all the funnier because the only sound you could hear was my brother laughing lol.
More of a funny action than a particular thing: he’s a big teddy bear and when he has a drink or two, it really comes out. You will get hugged and told how much you are loved, profusely. Sometimes he will try to dance with you.
my dad is the super ocd type. like, its scary. one day, I saw him carting one his three beloved vacuum cleaners across the lawn. I stood there and watched him vacuum up the sawdust from a stump. I was beside myself and still am. He gets all pissy when I bring it up- like what was he supposed to do with the sawdust? Leave it there? Psh.
My dad isn’t always super funny….but when he is funny, he doesn’t mean to be!
He always told me tough beenie weenies
I have a dad but my single Mom has always been the untraditional “dad” in my life. She is the queen of getting us into some complicated mess by just telling me, “This should be easy!” But she’ll always be the one I call when I am in the “messy” middle of a project and can’t think my way out of it. I love her.
Me: “Dad, I’m going to set you up a Facebook account. You don’t have to be friends with anyone except Mom and me.”
Dad: “Cricky, I don’t like ya’ll in real life, why would I be friends with you on a Facebook?”
Every time I meet up with my dad in public, he always shouts from half a block away “Caity! You made bail!” Cracks himself up every time.
The always infamous line – “Don’t tell your mother”.
Hmm, can’t think of anything particularly funny that my dad’s said. It always amused me that he named his old truck Leroy.
“Do you want me to have him “taken care of”.” Referring to my ex!
My dad taught me to fix a flat, change my oil and spark plugs. Not that funny but valuable skills!
Dad is a teacher, he likes to explain things. And he’s always pretty serious about it, so us kids have become kinda immune to the lessons he imparts. One time after a lengthy and unsolicited explanation on why something was some way, I said “Thanks, Sheldon” referencing the Big Bang Theory character. Dad thought it was funny, and told his wife and several other people about how I call him Sheldon all the time. Even though it was once. But because I know he thinks its funny/adorable, I started calling him Sheldon more often, and he gets a kick out of it, which makes me happy.
My dad’s a quiet guy, so it’s usually what he doesn’t say that we pay attention to. My favorites are his long suffering sigh and dramatic eye roll. What a martyr!
My dad always like to say(after I refer to something being warm or cold) “It’s on account of the temperature” Funny every time.
My Dad has been gone for years but he had a nick name for me that my family will still occasionally call me. He was a red head and so am I and he called me his “red headed freckle faced stink bomb goon baby”. Crazy, I know, but he always hugged me as he said it and I knew it was my special name! :)
This is for my husband….when ever I am “stewing” about something, he always tells me to put it on the back burner….now we laugh at the times we both say it to each other. He deserves this gift. Would love to win!
My dad is always funny – it is hard to find just one! Sometimes, you cannot even tell if he is joking or not because he has such a straight face! :)
Having borrowed so many power tools from my dad (and returned some…), it would be nice to finally pay him back!
My dad works third shift, and one afternoon he woke and started singing “I’m waking up so you better get the coffee started” to the tune of Pink’s ‘Get the Party Started’. Still not sure where he heard it since pop music is totally not his thing, but it always makes me smile when that song comes on the radio :)
My dad always makes jokes about being married for so long, since it’s been 40 years. .. I can’t think of one specific thing though.
We’re not lost. I thought you guys would enjoy the scenery.
My dad is a pretty funny guy – always saying things like, “Come back when you can’t stay as long!” But the funniest thing he does is laugh at his own jokes… sometimes we daughters think it is so annoying, but he cracks himself up so hard that we end up laughing right along with him!
While fixing the cable hook-up in my house, he suddenly turned to my roommate and I and exclaimed that he was MacGyver. Haha, he was so proud. But he actually is quite talented with that type of thing. Once he fixed something on his car temporarily with a golf tee he had in the trunk. I wouldn’t even know how to tell what was broke, much less fix it.
My mom’s accent comes out much more strongly when she’s tired which makes everything she says hilarious. My favorite thing is how she’s always willing to laugh at herself :)
Oh geez. My dad is hilarious and quite adept at making absolutely anything inappropriate. He was walking me down the aisle, and was mumbling jokes about something or other. I was trying so hard not to laugh, that I actually farted! Yes, my dad mad me fart on the way to the altar.
Hmmm… probably when he thought an iPad was a feminine hygiene product, lol!!! Hope y’all have a lovely Father’s Day! :D
My Dad? Nothing’s coming to mind, though he can be funny. He’s going to flip his lid when I offer to take him to Weezer next week, and then probably pseudo-embarrass me by going to the concert in a Mighty Taco t-shirt that he thinks is the shit. Ugh.
My sister left her car at my parents house for quite awhile. She came one day to pick it up, but one of the rear wheels wouldn’t turn. It was locked solid, so my dad thought he might loosen it by driving it around the block. We now have a black line that literally goes around the block and starts/stops in front of my parents house. Upon returning, he told her (exact words in all seriousness) “Your car drives like a sausage.” He walked away upset and we were both crying from laughter. That has now become an inside joke between all of us, especially if he is working on something and it’s not going well. We will occasionally call the new issue a sausage.
My Father always wears a hat when he goes swimming (he’s bald). He looks hilarious wearing that thing as it slides from side to side on his head when it gets wet.
you’re only as good as the $ you got .so dont ask me for any ask your mom she has it all
My dad was not too funny in words. But every time we took a picture he would use the old school throw away wind cameras and say okay get close and end up taking the picture a half foot away. the pictures were always terrible which was a riot.
My dad was from the south and had quite a few funny ‘Southern’ sayings and comments. What always got me the most was how he said, ‘now honey child’. I knew a good story was about to be told.
My single mom was so funny sometimes. One night (I was in my early 20’s) I went out on a first date. We actually came home early but sat in his car and just talked. We ended up talking until the sun came up. When I came in the house, mom was standing at the kitchen window, drinking coffee. It was evident she had been watching us. Before I could say anything, she simply said, “Did you stay out late or are you coming in early?” She was grinning from ear to ear.
Dad always said before he started a project you better go get one of those large trash bags “just in case”! Always had a handful of pocket screws or other miscellaneous materials left over! What times we had!
“I dare you to hit your brother again.” Surprisingly I got sent to my room :/
My dad was fighting with my sister about something and I piped up (probably sticking up for my sister). My dad turned around and told me, “If I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you.” My sister and I still say it to each other all the time.
I remember when my younger sister came home from college after getting her nose pierced. Everyone (siblings and my mom) knew she had done it but my dad didn’t. Halfway through dinner he finally noticed. He proceeded to tell my sister she had a booger on her nose. He wasn’t too happy about the piercing-she continues to get lectures about it even though the piercing is long gone.
Me: “Dad,.. is that… a lady?”
Dad: “No Son, that’s a woman.”
Oh man. I lived with my folks for a couple years while I was in law school, when I was about 27-28. My dad made a boner joke!!! Soooo awkward and uncomfortable at the time, although now I can look back on it and laugh!
Most recently, my dad just learned how to emoji. No idea how he figured it out, because he is clueless with everything on his phone, but every single text or email I receive has at least 10 emojis in them, about what he is doing. My favorite texts are the simple ones… “Just left the gym *bicep emoji* Oh Dad…
Um. Seriously?! My Dad just figured out the emoji also. Also, just for funsies: http://www.buzzfeed.com/erinchack/cringe-worthy-dad-jokes-you-cant-help-but-laugh-at
My dad was always so serious so I’m not sure about funny…
“I’m paying for you to go to college so you can take Fitness Walking?”
Followed the next semester by, “I’m paying for you to go to college so you can take Aquatic Fitness and Conditioning?”
My dad was always saying funny things growing up. I really liked his saying you mess with the bull, you get the horn.
I’m not sure that my dad has said funny things – but he does have some saying that he is quite fond of. He often says “It hurts to be dumb” meaning that if I do something, like trip over my shoe, it wouldn’t hurt if I wasn’t so dumb as to leave my shoes on the floor.
When talking about how many toys our little boy has my dad said, “and I thought you said that he was only going to have two toys”.
Gosh, I have no idea what the funniest thing my dad ever said to me was. All I know is that we do laugh a lot when we are together and if I could think of the funniest thing, chances are it would be too R rated to share on here ;)
One time I was sitting in the basement watching sports with my dad. Neither of us had said anything for a few minutes, and then he turned to me and said out of the blue, “Who is Lupe Fiasco, again?” I told him he’s a rapper and then asked why he asked, to which he replied, “I don’t know. His name just popped into my head for no apparent reason.”
“Refridgerators need to breathe, if they can’t breathe they die!”
I think we were discussing kitchen renovations when this came up. I now think of this every other time I open the fridge
When I was a kid, my dad started calling me and my (all girl) friends odd names – we were Rufus, Ralph, and Rutabaga. So we called him Francine. Dad and I kept this going for a long time, occasionally sending mail to the other with their nickname.
My dad often tells his dog he’s going to trade him in for a USED cat! (He wouldn’t! He really loves his dog!)
“I’ve got good news and bad. Your light fixtures now works, but I broke the garage door overide cord..”
boys only want one thing,
they think of it every seven seconds,
they’ll say anything to get it,
i’m not paying for a wedding till you’re thirty.
and i’m not a full time baby sitter.
whats worse than driving past a field recently sprayed with pig shit?
one that is currently being sprayed with pig shit…
it’s more something he always did. When we were traveling as kids, he would always tell us he was stopping at a gas station in a few minutes. We would scramble tryin to get our shoes on, because he always told us we had to be back in the van by the time he finished pumping gas, or he would leave us. :)
My dad once told me when I was in middle school, that with one strand of hair they could find out everything about me. New technology was available. It was said with a stone cold look that was at the time was very scary. Now I think it is really funny.
He would always tell me “The older you get, the smarter I get” … took me a while to figure out he was totally right!!
if you do it now, it’ll be done.
The only time my mother could get his attention during HIS DIY projects around the house was to tell him she was pregnant! That got his attention REAL fast….
“Victory is mine!” (referring to a particular morning movement.)
You used to be so cute, what happened?
“Maybe your mom won’t notice” lol – we both know that’s unlikely!
My dad has a signature “eye roll” that my cousins have labeled “The Uncle Bob”. He doesn’t think he’s being funny but we all think it’s hilarious and do the ‘uncle Bob’ from time to time.
My Dad isn’t deliberately funny. Poor guy. But my grandfather was a hoot. He had this little saying I think of all the time; “I may be old, 90 years, but I’m not too old to shift my gears.”
hmmm.. My dad’s never was a funny man. But he DID teach me that “quality is job 1”. Wish I had that kind of attitude with home improvement projects ;-)
Good enough for who it’s for (something he was making me)
Dad’s funny comment is only funny in context. And I am sure this comment will be way longer than you intended. The comment was “Turn it off. Turn it off now!” The context follows. I hope you enjoy the story. Dad is a riot and this is only one of his many misadventures.
When I was a kid, Dad was making watermelon pickles. If you aren’t aware, that involves making pickles out of watermelon rinds and throwing away almost all the red part of the watermelon. He bought a bunch of slightly overripe watermelons and commenced to gut the middle part out in the middle of Mom’s clean kitchen. Mom was not home at the time. I was helping.
Dad had about eight watermelons, so we had lots of guts to dispose of. We also had a garbage disposal. We fed all the guts down the garbage disposal. I am sure it will come as no surprise to anyone that we plugged up the pipes before we got rid of all the watermelon guts. Dad soon had a virtual lake of red watermelon water swirling around in Mom’s previously clean sink.
Dad asked for the plunger, which I quickly fetched. All that did was further mix an already murky stew of water, watermelon meat and seed. This is the point the project takes a rather odd turn. Dad looked at me and said, “Get the garden hose. We can use that to get a bit more pressure and flush this all out.” So I got the garden hose.
Dad stuck the hose down the drain and wedged a couple towels around the hose. Then he told me to turn on the hose. Which I did. Being a curious kid, I stuck my head back in the house to see how things were working. Dad is up to his elbows in the watermelon swamp, holding the towels around the hose. He says, “It appears to be working, the water is moving. Let’s just let it run a while and flush all this junk out.”
I was standing in the back door to the house, with the outside door open and the hose running around my feet as I watched the progress. Then I heard the sound of rain from outside. When I stepped outside the house onto the back steps and looked at the roof, there was a huge geyser of red water shooting out of one of the roof vents!
I hollered in to Dad, “There is water shooting onto the roof of the house!” He quickly replied, “Turn it off! Turn it off now!”
By the time he got outside, we had watermelon goo all over the roof of the house, into the gutters and down the drains. Plus we still had a sink full of watermelon guts. And sticky watermelon gunk tracked all between the two.
Defeated at this point, Dad started the cleanup by getting out the ladder and hauling the hose onto the roof. Which is about when Mom got home. I was standing outside watching the progress when she walked up.
“What is your Dad doing,” Mom asked.
“Washing off the roof,” I replied.
“Why,” Mom asked.
“Because it was dirty,” I replied.
We cleaned up what we could but Dad had to hire a plumber to roto root the pipes to clear out all the watermelon seeds. Since this happened on Saturday, that meant a weekend without running water.
Mom was not pleased.
Have a great day. Hope you enjoyed the story.
A cancerous tumor took my dad’s life too early. At one point the Doctor pointed to my mom and asked who that was. My dad responded “We live together, and we are good at it.” It makes me smile every time I think of it. What a fantastic example that was set for me and my sisters.
My father in-law called me the lady behind the beard on my wedding day. I am short and my husband is really tall. He had a long beard that covered my face during photos.
I’ll buy you some chocolate if you let me watch the game (but you have to be naked).
My Dad is gone now. But his ability to fix just about anythinghe passed to me and my sisters. His favorite saying? “I feel sorry for anyone who isn’t me.” I remind myself of this often.
Well I don’t really remember, so I go with what one of my uncles said, to both my cousin (his daughter) & I somewhere around middle school: “you can’t date until you are married!”
My dad, on occasion, would tell my siblings and me, “Don’t tell your mother about this…”
Okay, he says a bunch of funny things! But, just the other day he revealed that he had always thought that Coca-Cola was made with chocolate. He assumed that’s where the brown color came from. LOL! We all had a laugh at his expense, and he even laughed at himself after realizing that wasn’t true.
Congrats! You’re a winner of one of the gift cards!
I wish I had inherited my Dad’s sense of humor. He always has a fun way to turn a phrase or make you laugh. And his laugh is one that comes out of the belly and just makes you smile.
Haha, love the face expression on the first picture!
Way to go mr!
When I first got a cell phone as a teenager I failed to set up my voicemail correctly. So for over a year you couldn’t leave me a message. This drove my dad insane!!!! Why? I can still see that you called so I just call back. Well, he got so irritated that he threatened to take my phone if I didn’t do it. Fast forward a few weeks and I call dad and leave him a voicemail. He then called me back to ask what I needed . . . “dad, didn’t you listen to my message? No, I just called you back.” HA! What a goof.
My dad has all the classic dad jokes nailed down. “I’m so bright my dad calls me son.” “Are you tan from the sun? No, I’m D from the Earth.” All of the corny yet somehow hilarious things that stereotypical dads say.
I am fortunate to have my father still around and to talk about all the great memories.
My Dad taught me Baseball and he told me “To put it here!” I did and when I hit the ball I knocked him out..lol. He said afterwards, That girl can hit!!
I remember my very strict dad telling me and my cousins that the only thing out after midnight is the devil! Its a running joke now.
My dad is just not funny
My father recently married my husband and I. During the ceremony, he prayed for long life, health and grandchildren. I’m fairly certain I made a face because the whole church erupted in laughter. No kids for me anytime soon!!!
My step-dad and I always reference “We’re not blood related” whenever one of us does something that is embarrassing or weird…it’s always funny because I’ve always felt like he was my dad but we can blame the odd stuff not being inherited!
I’m not sure of the funniest thing my Dad has ever said to me, but his most frequent saying when I was growing up had to be “Pull my finger.” :)