My (Tacky) Old Lady Day

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The day of the tacky Christmas sweater party was pretty much my day as a 26-going-on-70 woman.

After shopping for last-minute holiday gifts, I headed over to Belk in search of a tacky Christmas sweater. With all the blue-hairs around me, I felt I was on the right track. Then, I hit the motherload.

I’m talking sequins, jingle bells, embroidery and funny patches of puppies (who inexplicably have something to do with Christmas?).

I had to keep my enthusiasm at bay as there were women around me (none of them younger than 65) who were actually shopping for these sweaters. Heck, some were even wearing them while shopping for more.

I met the knowing glance of another girl about my age. It was pretty funny that I could read her mind, and she could read mine – she and I were there for the same reason. We were giving each other thumbs up or down, judging the tackiness of each sweater.

When I’d found the one, I then headed off to the dollar store to pick up a package of red, green and white pom-poms to make my own ridiculous holiday headband.

After a 4:30 PM meal at Cracker Barrel (go figure, I had a hankering for pancakes), I headed home to get ready for the two parties I would be heading to that evening.

And now, for your viewing pleasure, the loveliness that is my holiday sweater (along with a few other competitors).

Sadly, I did not win, but I think the champion rightfully won his prize:

And here is where my day pretty much stopped mirroring a 70-year-old’s. Some of the gifts in the White Elephant game would have made my grandmother faint. But, they were funny.

And then, it was story time. As in, romance novel stories (Christmas themed, of course – another one of the hilarious White Elephant gag gifts).

Wait, maybe that part isn’t so different from a retiree’s life… ?