(Time to be with family, so this is going up a day early – enjoy!)
‘Twas the night before Christmas,
And all through the Ugg-Duck,
Tools were scattered everywhere…
I didn’t give a flying… er, elf.
Tiny stockings were hung –
Mostly because they were cute,
Beneath a giant new smart TV,
(Finally gave the broken one the boot.)
Mount Washmore had been freshly folded,
And all the gifts were wrapped,
So I settled into my dog-hair-covered couch,
Where (dammit!) Charlie must have napped.
But no matter, I thought,
I can still be thankful for a good year.
Everyone is healthy and happy,
And I have a fridge full of beer.
Now that school has ended,
I can finally take a brief rest,
There aren’t any more classes to attend,
And no more goddamn tests!
Looking back at this home I’ve created,
There’s still more yet to do,
But for now, I can just sit by this roaring fire
And wish a Merry Christmas to all of you.